Things You'd Love To Say At Work... But Can't

I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
How do I set a laser printer to stun?
I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
I can see your point, but I still think you're full of it.
I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.
I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
If I throw a stick, will you leave?
I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?
I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted a paycheck.

Cool joke